Hobby Shopping

I've decided I need a hobby.
   Writing doesn't count because that's an avocation, I'm talking about a hobby, something that sucks up precious cash and occupies precious time. My father used to build things out of wood, my sister used to scrapbook, one of my friends collects Star Wars stuff. A hobby takes up space, requires you to purchase tools that you can use nowhere else, and usually produces things that also take up space. And that you load in the back of the station wagon and try to sell at craft fairs.
   While I was pondering my next hobby I realized that although a cellar full of canned tomatoes does count as a hobby - assuming I had a cellar - what I really needed was a DANGEROUS hobby. Something that adrenaline junkies would look at and say 'whoa, dude, you may want to re-think that one...' So here they are:

Nude Beekeeper - bears are nude when they forage in tree stumps for honey, can I do any less?

Noisy Rattlesnake Handler - and I mean I would be noisy, not the snakes. I figure I'd stomp around, play the cymbals, anything to make the snakes angry.

Robot Builder - not the 'Battlebots' kind of robots, though, as much as I appreciate circular saw blades on remote-controlled vehicles. I mean I'd create robots that could think, and that would develop souls. Or Skynet, I haven't decided yet.

Nude Lion Tamer - this is pretty much the same as nude beekeeping, except I'd replace the bees with lions. And lions don't make honey. But they make great rugs.

Ghostbuster - this isn't dangerous for the ghost hunting so much as for the copyright infringement. But who you gonna call?

Rocket Car Valet - as tough as it is to keep these things in a straight line on a salt flat, how difficult would they be to jockey into a standard parking spot? And do they even have keys?

Graffiti Librarian - aside from having to lurk around railroad rights-of-way and underpasses, taggers don't generally like outsiders taking note of their work, much less trying to find the appropriate Dewey Decimal classification.