Things That Worry Me Which Probably Shouldn't

I'm concerned that I might suddenly develop see-through vision.
   I don't mean x-ray vision, not like I can see bones or spleens or what have you. I'm concerned that I might suddenly develop the ability to see people as if they had no clothes on, like the X-Ray Specs they used to advertise on the back of comic books.
   On first consideration that might seem to be a pretty cool thing, especially when you think of supermodels or Playboy playmates or the hot chick checking groceries. But then, after a moment's consideration I realized that I've never actually seen a supermodel in person, and the only Playmate I've seen was a coked-out wreck fifteen years ago at the Dallas Fantasy Fair, and though she had a booming bod her face looked like what you'd expect a coked-out Playmate stuck at the Dallas Fantasy Fair would look like. Not good. Not good at all.
   Then you consider all the homeless guys and truckers and transsexual-looking people you see in a week (or at least that I see in a week) and the opportunity to see the occasional MILF or college cheerleader with no clothes on doesn't seem like a very good trade-off.
   And the thought of going to the local Wal-Mart and seeing the sagging, jiggling, varicose-veined train wrecks there would make me want to claw my eyes out.
   God invented Indonesian sweat shops so that we Americans could have the clothes our flabby bodies need to hide our excesses and indiscretions. And I'm fine stopping right there, no need to look any further.
   I just don't see how Superman does it...