So Tired...

I fell asleep on the couch after work today. Like an old man. I'm pretty sure I was snoring too, even though I can't hear myself when I do. But it seems like something that should happen. I didn't drool though, so I got that going for me. Which ain't bad.
   That got me to thinking about sleep. Scientists still aren't certain why we sleep they just know that we all do. BUT - not all mammals sleep the same way. Dolphins, for example, sleep with half their brains at a time. Because they don't have comfy beds and they have to watch out for sharks and Aquaman and whatnot.
   What could I do if I slept with half my brain at a time? Glad you asked.

Do the dishes. I can't believe it takes your whole brain to wash a bowl. Maybe if I was an especially sloppy eater...
   Sweep the floor. Same reasoning.
Wait in line at the DMV. Hell, I could probably do that completely zonked out. Lord knows the people working there seem to be asleep on the job.
   Listen to timeshare presentations. I'm not going to buy anyway, I just want the free gift, even if it is a crappy coupon for a massage.
Get a massage, now that I think about it.
   Watch Jerry Springer. I think I might explode if I used my whole brain for this one.
Listen to AM talk radio. True fact: Using half your brain is a prerequisite to agreeing with anything Rush Limbaugh says.
   Read The Secret and not fall out of my chair laughing. Or in outrage.
Write a country song. Which I'm thinking about doing. Seriously, I'll keep you posted.
   Work at the TSA security checkpoint in the airport. Nah, I'm just kidding, those folks are keeping us safe from terrorists, they just need to cop a feel every once in a while. Isn't that a fair trade-off for the fine job they do keeping nail files and cigarette lighters off our airliners? If I have to let a stranger cup my balls to make sure no one gets more than 3.4 ounces of fluid on board, then cup away.
Enjoy the stylings of local singer/songwriters. Sometimes you can find a real diamond in the rough, most of the time it's just atonal warblings. I'd love the chance to let half my brain fall asleep during that kind of painful experience.

There you have it. I'm sure there are more, but I'm nodding off here, even after my nap. I'm running on empty.