A Guy Walks Into A Bar...

Hey, buddy, what'll it be?
   Something with an umbrella in it.
Sorry, closest thing we have is a lemon peel twist. Got maraschino cherries too.
   I don't know. Surprise me.
You got it.
   Well, aren't you gonna ask?
About what?
   The clown costume. I'm wearing a clown costume and I'm looking to get drunk in a dive bar.
You'd be surprised by how much that doesn't surprise me. We get clowns all the time. A couple are regulars.
   Really? I thought I was treading new ground. Another failure to add to the list. I'm Notes, by the way. Notes the Clown.
Harvey.
   I've never met a Harvey before. That's a good name. Not like Notes.
What's wrong with Notes?
   Duh. It's lame. I'm supposed to be one of those clowns that communicates through music. Who doesn't speak and doesn't need to. Like Harpo Marx.
But you're in here holding a conversation with me.
   See? Complete failure. I can't even play the recorder, let alone something difficult like the harp. Third-graders play the recorder better than I can. I'm a washout.
So you're drowning your sorrows.
   Trying to. What is this?
An apple-tini.
   Seriously? I might be a clown but I'm not gay.
Sorry, I just thought, you know, with the eye liner, that bowler hat, and the unitard...
   It's a performance art concept! Jeez!
I said I was sorry. How about a boilermaker? On the house.
   Now you're talking. But I shouldn't be mad. You're not the first to assume Notes played for the other team. I'm starting to think it's all my fault.
Gonna look for another line of work?
   Doing what? I have a BA in Psychology.
Oooh. Yeah, tough one.
   'You want fries with that?' That's what I'm looking forward to. At least it's honest work.
Hey, look who's here! It's Patches. Haven't seen her in a while.
   Patches? She's the hottest thing on the clown circuit. Oh, God, is my tie on crooked? Is my flower droopy enough?
You look fine. Why don't you go talk to her?
   You think I should?
She comes in alone, she leaves alone. I'm guessing she's looking for the right clown to come along. Could be you.
   All right, I'm going in. Wish me luck.
Break a leg, buddy.
   It's Notes. Notes the Clown. And he's back in the game.