Are You Talkin' To Me?

You know what you don't see enough of any more?
   Pinky rings.
   Maybe I'm just not hanging around the right crowd, but it's been a long time since I've seen a pinky ring displayed un-ironically. I think Joe Pesci ruined the pinky ring for everyone, made it a cliche and a joke instead of a statement.
   Used to be, a pinky ring said 'I'm so tough that I can decorate my least-useful digits.' But now all a pinky ring says is 'I'm going as Goodfellas for Halloween.' Either that or you're trying to be Leisure Suit Larry (now there's a blast from the past).
   It's time to take the pinky ring back. Men should be able to flash a little bling on their little fingers and feel like people are admiring them instead of ridiculing them.
   You guys go first, I'm allergic to goombah gold.


COMMUTE: there - 40 minutes      back - 40 minutes to go 11 miles
CONTRACT COUNTDOWN: 61 days

What I Miss About Work

There are many things I do not miss about work: commuting, self-important do-nothings, pointless rules that people feel the need to follow without question, evil executives who spout platitudes while lining their pockets with investors' money. The toilet paper in the office bathrooms. But there is one thing I do miss about work:
   Birthday cake.
   It's been two and a half months and I haven't had any birthday cake, I'm going through withdrawal. Store bought or homemade, it doesn't matter to me, all I want is to celebrate someone's birthday with a sugar rush in the afternoon, right around 2:30 PM, after lunch and close to going-home time but not so close that you have to rush to finish or clean up.
   Yeah, sure, I could make my own cake, but it's just not the same. There's nothing quite like getting a visit in your office from someone with a birthday card, it brightens your morning because you know that in a few hours you'll be getting cake. For free. Maybe some ice cream too, if people in the office like the birthday boy or girl enough.
   Maybe I can crash one of the office buildings nearby, somebody there has to have a birthday today...