Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Think Too Much

I've been thinking too much lately, wrapping myself in knots over things that I have no control over. Thing is, I have no idea why. Even last month I was blithely unaware. Maybe unconcerned, really. Back in March, early April, I didn't have a job, didn't much care, things were going to work out one way or another.
   Now? I'm spending hours - literally - worrying about my next job, or thinking about things I did and didn't do ten years ago that I'd like to have a do-over for.
   What's the deal, man? Why these thoughts and feelings? Why now instead of ten years ago, or even last year? I'm not being productive and I'm not helping myself with this, but for the last week or so it's been nothing but second-guessing and recriminations.
   Where's the stress coming from? I have to figure that out and find a way to eliminate it.
   I'm thinking maybe it's working. Didn't have all this negative energy when I was a ward of the state. Working'll kill you every time.

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