Monday, December 6, 2010

If Life Were Like TV...

If life were like TV:

Every third criminal would be a serial killer.

Big fat loudmouth guys would always have thin hot wives.

Computers and databases would be lightning fast and always give the correct results.

Cell phones would never run out of battery power. Unless it would serve a dramatic purpose or let the cops catch the serial killer.

No one would ever go to the bathroom. Unless it would serve a dramatic purpose or let the cops catch the serial killer.

Blackout alcoholics would be clever and witty instead of mumbly and scary.

Gay men would always advertise themselves by being flamingly flamboyant.

People with Southern accents would always be ignorant and racist.

People with New York accents would always be pushy know-it-alls.
   Okay, maybe that one's true.

Right before you left the living room for the kitchen, you'd have to take a dramatic pause to let the music cue you off.

Everything would have a happy ending after thirty minutes.

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