One Year Ago

A year ago today my father died. I was at his side as the nurse turned off the machine supplying him with medicine to keep his blood pressure up. I held his hand as the numbers slowly ticked down and he slowly slipped away. It was excruciating and terrible and sad, but I would not trade that last hour with him for anything. The time I spent with my hand in his waiting for the inevitable end was precious, a gem that only three of us share, me, my sister and my mother.
   If you have lost a parent you know exactly how I feel today. If you still have both your parents there's nothing I can say that would explain precisely the feeling of being alone, on your own, without the security blanket of one of the people put on this planet to take care of you. It's scary and liberating and incomprehensible all at the same time. My father was such a huge presence in my life that even now, a year later, there's a huge hole in my life where he used to be.
   So here's to my father, Donald Jacob Hartshorn, Jr. and everything he was and everything he taught me to be. I hope I can live up to what he expected of me.
   I still miss you, Dad.