Cojones Grandes

Man, I've seen some daring people before, but just now I witnessed a lady who takes the cake. And eats it. And then takes your cake and eats that too.
   I went to get gasoline in the truck, and decided that I would run it through the 'Touchless' car wash to knock the Los Angeles off of it. I wiped it down afterwards and then went inside to get my lottery tickets. You can't win if you don't play.
   A lady came in behind me and handed over a receipt. She asked the clerks for a refund on the car wash, since it 'wasn't valid' and there were too many people in line right now and she couldn't use it anyway. Could she please have her money back. No big deal and none of my business.
   Until I walked out the door.
   A little econo-box was sitting right outside the doors, and it was still dripping wet from the car wash.
   What are the odds...? I thought. So I waited. Got in my truck and watched the door. And, sure enough, the lady who wanted a refund on her car wash because she couldn't use it got into the freshly-washed car and drove away.
   Astonishing. Just... remarkable. Not only to lie like that to get a free car wash, but to park your still-wet-from-the-wash car right outside the door when you do it? That takes some nerve. Completely reprehensible and wrong, but you gotta admit that takes major chutzpah to even think about doing, let alone carry out successfully. That's like... Captain Kirk ballsy.
   When I grow up I want to be like that lady. Only honest.

It's All Changing

As time goes on I'm beginning to realize that this economic downturn is going to change things all over. And I don't mean just for me, being 'between assignments.' Things are changing on a fundamental level, especially with regards to finance, which should always be a means to an end - a way to enable a real economy based on goods and services - and not the money-making end in itself. The 'bon temps' that used to 'roulez' for banks, brokerage houses, insurance companies, mortgage lenders and the like are soon to be 'fin,' even if the institutions themselves don't know it yet. Or the government for that matter. There's an ill wind a-blowin'.
   The crazy-ass Teaparty kooks are definitely the lunatic fringe, but that fringe just tends to be more radical and vocal about things that bother society as a whole. Rampant fiscal and fiduciary irresponsibility is going to lead to a new rise in populism, just like what happened over 100 years ago with political corruption, multiple depressions, robber barons and the like. The result of the business excesses of the 1890s was the election of that trust-busting Bull Moose, Teddy Roosevelt.
   And you thought you didn't have to pay attention in History class, didn't you? Well, you blew it off, and see what's happened? History has repeated itself. Again. Same trip down the same road, only it's 100 years later and we all have cell phones. There were pretty serious changes to business back then because of the idiocy of the corporate giants, and the same thing's bound to happen now. Mark my words.


COMMUTE: there - 47 minutes, I left late      back - 41 minutes
CONTRACT COUNTDOWN: 58 days

Am I Being Punk'd?

I know that I complain about my impending old-man-ness, what with my attendance at local city district meetings and my worry about water quality and Pasadena's revision of its General Plan. But I thought I was delicately treading the path, not charging towards cranky old man status like a little kid running for the ice cream truck. (They still have ice cream trucks, right?) I got a piece of news today that makes me realize I am now officially The Man.
   One of my friends is running for US Congress.
   Seriously, one of the guys I worked with at the OG, a guy I played basketball with, a guy whose bachelor party and subsequent wedding I attended - a couple of good stories there, trust me - has tossed his hat into the ring to become a Congressman. The primary is tomorrow, March 2nd.
   It's good for him, he's one of the few people who decide to try to make a difference instead of just complaining about things like some nimrod with a blog. But it's bad for me, because now I realize I should be part of the solution, rather than just pointing out the problems. And that's kind of a drag, honestly. It's much easier to be like Statler and Waldorf, sitting up in the balcony heckling than being like Fozzie, down on stage tap-dancing to save my life.
   I'll keep you posted on what happens. With my luck this will be just the first step and Chuck will be running for office come November.

Here's a Quick Question

The answer to the following question can determine your personality more accurately than any MMPI ever could.
    Would you rather fly or be invisible?
   It really is that simple. You have two choices of a superpower. You can either fly or turn invisible. At will. You can't have both. You can't fly while invisible, you don't turn invisible while you're flying, you don't need wings, everything you wear or carry turns invisible, anything you eat turns invisible too, you aren't flying constantly if you don't want to...
   Look, don't make a great big production out of this, just answer the damned question. Fly or invisible?
    I've asked this question of many, many people over the years, and then I asked them their reasoning. Why would you want to fly? Or why would you want to be invisible? The answers always - ALWAYS - fall into two fairly specific categories, which put them into two distinct personality types. So go ahead, make your choice. I'll wait. No fair reading ahead.
..
..
..
   Done? Made your choice?
   Okay, people who said they wanted to fly were noble souls, they wanted to be up in the clouds, soaring free, unfettered by earthly constraints. Dreamers, poets, saints.
   People who wanted to be invisible were - to a man - thieves and perverts. They wanted to be invisible to steal cash or get into the girls' locker room. Or steal cash from the girls' locker room.
   You perverts know who you are...