Thanks, Hollywood

As I've related, I've seen a steep drop-off in weirdness around me, and many of my topics for this blog have to do with something odd that happened to me. I was running dry, grasping for ideas, vapor-locked and hoping for inspiration that just wasn't coming.
   Then, today, I had to go to Hollywood for an audition.
   I hate the drive, I hate that part of town, I resent every minute I'm forced to be anywhere in sight of the Hollywood sign. But, oh, the weirdness. Sweet, sweet, weirdness, falling into my lap like a gift from on-high.

Quick takes
   A lady at a stop light frantically stuffing a creampuff down her throat as she makes a left on red to beat the oncoming traffic. I can still see the powdered sugar explode around her face as she wrenched the steering wheel. If only she'd been on the phone too...
   The rapping bus-rider. The guy standing at the bus stop rapping up a storm, no iPod, no musical accompaniment, just him, his rhymes, and anybody with an open car window. Not half bad.
   The Sparkletts water man running across the street in front of oncoming traffic from both directions. Westbound had to brake to avoid splattering him across Sunset Blvd., and then Eastbound traffic had to do the same. Almost committing suicide to deliver water - dedication or death wish? You decide.
   People in the crosswalk who, for some reason, didn't see or hear the huge red fire truck barreling down on them. Everybody in cars with rolled-up windows heard the sirens and saw the lights, but the people crossing Sunset at Stanley had been struck blind and deaf. But they were surprisingly nimble when they realized it wasn't a movie shoot.
   Did you know there are 24-hour Subways? The sandwich shops, not the mass transit trains. Well there are, and I counted three as I drove down Sunset. How many transvestite prostitutes need a BMT at 3 AM? More than I suspected, evidently.
   Alligator Dave. There was a guy at the audition who signed in with the name 'Alligator Dave.' Seriously. Like Crocodile Dundee but not cool and without the Australian accent. He seems to believe that naming himself after an animal will help his chances at an acting career. He's about 23 years too late.
   The tour bus taking pictures of me as I left the audition where I saw Alligator Dave. The bus was stopped in front of the nondescript office building housing the casting studio, hoping to see a big star (I guess). They got me instead. I happened to glance up at the people on the top of the open double-decker and I saw a few cell phones, a few digital cameras, and one video camera pointed my way. I can only imagine the excuses the bus driver was making.