You Know What Would Be Cool?

Do you know what would be cool?
   If somebody made ice cream that was chock-full of vitamins. And I mean for real, like it was the most vitamin-enriched thing you could possibly buy. More vitamins than those really nasty vegetables that are totally good for you but are completely gross, like kale or chard or rhubarb.
   And then those guys who are on the daytime talk shows telling people what not to eat would have some sort of aneurysm when they read the nutrition label. Because, after all, it would still be ice cream - which is just sweet fat - but it would also be better for you than a multi-vitamin. It would BE a multi-vitamin, just with a ribbon of silky fudge in the center.
   Ice cream companies would piss themselves trying to come up with the latest and greatest 'healthy' ice cream. No doubt there would be segmentation, with senior-marketed ice cream competing with infant and toddler-marketed ice cream, each with its own specialized vitamin ingredients. And then the inevitable diet books would follow, advocating one brand of vitamin ice cream over another. In the meantime registered dietitians and nutritionists would be screaming at the top of their lungs, trying to get people to realize that it's still ice cream, after all, and totally bad for you no matter how many vitamins you shove into it.
   It would be madness, conflicting opinions, people convinced beyond any convincing otherwise that they were right and there was no other answer. No one listening to each other, just a lot of noise and people yelling to people who already agree with them. It would be like our current political climate, only with ice cream.
   Ah... sweet anarchy...