Casting About

What do I want to do when I grow up?
   It's a little late in the game to still be wondering that, I get it. But very few people I know are doing what they really want to do with their lives. Make no mistake, I'm doing all right. But I can't escape the feeling that there's something more out there. And I'm not talking about being a published author, that's been my goal since I was fourteen, and it will happen eventually, as long as I keep at it.
   No, I mean something career-wise until I make it as a writer. Something that contributes more than just money to my checking account. I keep coming back again and again to being a teacher. In college I was preparing to enter the teacher's Masters program, but I didn't do it because I wanted to see what else was out there. So, three years later, I got a job teaching Latin on TV. A teaching assistant, really, I'm not a certified teacher, but it was a cool gig. I could have gotten alternative certification easily, but I didn't do it because I had bailed on the Masters degree earlier.
   I could have gone back to college to be a professor. I may still. But I can't help thinking that I've been fighting my destiny all this time. I should have been a teacher, a for-real one in a school. And maybe all this wondering what I should be doing with my life is just my subconscious telling me what I've known all along.
   I don't know... I just think there's something else.