Mmmmm... Pie Charts...

I've been hitting the job search pretty hard for a few weeks now - I know, I know, it's disappointing for me too - and I can see that it's going to take some time. That time will allow me to ease back into the work routine, long hours spent away from home, the couch sadly neglected, the refrigerator door grossly under-used. I've been trying to think of what I would look forward to at work, aside from the birthday cake, and the list was woefully short. And then I thought a little bit more and I had it.
   I look forward to pointless technical innovation.
   You'd think there would be plenty of that in the non-corporate world, what with your Twitters and your iPhone apps and android what-nots. But some of the pointless technical innovation in society eventually proves useful somewhere - Twitter about the Iranian elections, for instance. But only in the corporate world can you get technology that presents itself as helpful which is anything but.
   Pie charts, for instance. I don't know how much programming time has been wasted getting pie charts easier and easier to produce, and yet I've never seen a serious presentation that actually uses a pie chart. Or a bar graph, or line graph or any of the bloat that spreadsheet programs list as 'features.'
   What about the presentations themselves? Power Point, Keynote, whatever, I've never seen, been shown, or handed a stack of presentation slides that wasn't a total waste of time. A waste of time to produce, a waste of time to explain or read aloud, a waste of time to e-mail. But there are people whose entire job is to produce Power Point presentations, and they think what they're doing adds value. Big-four consultants, I'm looking your way here...
   How about security access doors? You have to swipe you employee ID to get inside. And if you read the fine print in the documents you sign to get that ID, you're not supposed to let anyone in unless they swipe their ID too. Find me one person who abides by that provision, even the head of corporate security. If five people go out for lunch, only one person swipes all of them back in the building. Might as well just prop open the door with a rock.
   I could go on, but it's getting close to time for my afternoon nap. Gotta grab this opportunity while I have it.