Damn Bicylces

They've gone and done it. The bicycle mafia has ruined - devastated, really - a street I travel regularly, and I've had it with them and their kind. Or with you and your kind if you ride a bicycle on my streets.
   Cordova, a street I use several times a week to get where I need to go, has gained a bike lane between Lake Avenue and Hill Street.
   'But Don,' you say, 'Cordova's a two-lane street, how could they possibly squeeze a bike lane in there?'
   Well, they didn't squeeze it in. They took out a lane to make room, one on each side. Bastards. What had been a nice two-lane road now is one-lane, with a big yellow-lined turn lane in the center that no one's ever going to use, all so the freakin' bicycle weirdos can have their stupid lane, when they had a perfectly good road to begin with.
   Now I'm going to get stuck behind some jackass going 20, with no way to go around them because there's a bicycle lane to my right and a yellow-lined turn lane to my left. All so bike riding douchebags can go to and from PCC on a road no bicyclists take to go to school in the first place.
   So here's what I'm gonna do. And no, it doesn't involve smashing my truck into bicyclists, killing's too good for their kind, and it would gum up my truck. No, I'm going to start walking in the bike lane. See, I figure the lane's got to be safe enough, and even though there's a perfectly good sidewalk I want to assert my pedestrian's rights to use a bike lane for my own purposes, even though I clearly don't belong in it. Eventually I'll get my own pedestrian lane in the road, so the city can make Cordova one-lane. Not in each direction, just one lane.
   Just makes me so mad...