An Earnest Visit

It was two in the morning, and night smells filtered through my open window. Earth, dew, the flinty sharpness from the concrete and asphalt of the city.
   An ember flared at the foot of my bed and showed briefly a man's lined, weathered face. White whiskers, brown eyes. A sharp, spicy waft of pipe smoke settled over me.
   "You're troubled, son." His voice was strong and tough. Raspy. A smoker's voice.
   "I suppose," I replied. "Enough to see ghosts."
   The ember flared and the man exhaled more smoke. "Not just anybody gets a visit from Papa."
   "I'm honored," I said, trying not to cough for all the smoke. "Sir."
   "Better to be honest," he said. "Explain yourself."
   "I wish I could," I said. "It's tough to put into words."
   "Let me guess," he said, lips wrapped around his pipe stem. "You want in the ring but there's no bull to fight."
   "Something like that," I replied. "More like I don't even know where the ring is or how to go about finding it."
   The orange ember moved up and down as he nodded thoughtfully.
   "I just wish… there's got to be something more I can do," I said.
   "You're being wasted where you are." He wasn't asking.
   "More like passed over," I said. "Passed by. I suppose I should feel lucky to have a job, but…"
   "It's not enough." His growl was a living thing that bounded across the room. "A man can die on his feet in a moment, or he can die a little every year sitting in an office chair. Which one are you headed for?"
   "I'd rather not die at all," I replied. "I'd rather accomplish something worthwhile. Make my mark. Let the world know that I do something that matters."
   "You want to toss in your line and fight a marlin for its life."
   I thought about that for a moment. "Yeah."
   "Then do it." Papa took a deep drag on his pipe, leaving his face illuminated long enough for me to see the spark in his eyes. "A man isn't alive unless he's testing his limits."
   I shook my head. Sighed. "The deck's stacked against me."
   "Don't let the house set the rules," Papa replied. "Play your own game. Make everyone else catch up to you. That's what I did."
   "How am I supposed to do that?" I hung my head. Hopeless.
   The ember flared and his eyes sparked again. "You'll figure it out. The smart ones always do."
The ember faded and the man faded. The pipe smoke remained.