Tales From My Past - I Voted For Gary

Back in 2003 I had been living in California for a little over a year, just settling in. In November of 2002 I voted in my first big California general election in which Gray Davis was re-elected Governor. Then in February 2003 someone started a recall effort. Some states allow the recall of elected officials, kind of a check and balance to the power wielded by those representatives.
   But, remember, we'd just had an election in November, three months before. Just. Had. An. Election. The recall was sour grapes maneuvering by Gray Davis's high-ranking political opponents, not a grass-roots effort by concerned citizens, which is what a recall is for. These bastards were getting a recall because they lost the election, not because of any particular reason (though they came up with many). A total abuse of the recall/referendum process.
   And they got their recall.
   Since it was in California the entire thing became a circus, and I mean that literally. Clowns came out of the shadows and trapeze artists amazed the crowd and the ringmaster orchestrated everything. I'm positive there was a calliope somewhere to accompany all the zany action.
   I was astounded, astonished, and dismayed. All this crass maneuvering and media manipulation shouldn't have surprised me but it did. Caught me with my pants down, metaphorically speaking. And then when the stripper girl and Ariana Huffington and Gary Coleman actually filed papers to get on the ballot, that's when I knew we'd officially gone too far.
   The recall election rolled around in November, far too late for my tastes but they didn't ask my opinion. In order to save money - too late - the recall and special election were on the same ballot. You first voted for or against the recall, then, in the event the recall measure passed, you voted for your candidate of choice. Yeah, crazy, but that's the way they do it in Cali.
   I figured that since they were making a complete joke of the electoral process I might as well do my part to make it a good one. So I voted against the recall - sour grapes doesn't mean you get to void the results of a legal election - and then I voted for Gary Coleman for Governor. He got about 10,000 votes too, not too shabby.
   I actually wanted Sir Gary to be in the Governor's mansion, it would have been a real-life version of Diff'rent Strokes. And even though he was more than a little wacky, I don't think he could have done that much worse a job than the Governator ended up doing.
   And, oddly enough, I can't think of any other semi-celebrity I would rather have had in public office. 'What 'choo talkin' 'bout, State Assembly?'