Le Danse Macabre - LA Style

It's raining in LA today. If you live here, or you have lived here, then
'nuff said, you can go on about your business, no need to read further. For the rest of you, however, let me 'splain...

   Rain in Los Angeles means 'drizzle' or 'mist' in other parts of the country.
   Rain in Los Angeles increases your commute time by 50%, at the very least.
   Rain in Los Angeles prompts people to drive too fast on the freeway or not fast enough.
   Rain in Los Angeles leads people carrying umbrellas to believe they're invulnerable, and that it's okay to walk out into traffic.
   Rain in Los Angeles makes otherwise level-headed people lose their minds.

Driving in LA in the rain is this insane ballet of aggression, caution, fear, and outrage that is enough to put wrinkles in a baby's face. If you're on the highway traffic slows for no reason, backing up for miles. When it finally starts going again you expect you're going to see a wreck, or the remains of one, but no - there's nothing. You've been stuck for forty-five minutes because the pavement is moist. If you're on city streets you have to contend with people who either don't believe rain changes the handling characteristics of their car, or people who think rain means their car is in imminent danger of exploding at any second. No middle ground. One moment some jackass rockets past you like the sun is shining and there's no one else on the road, and the next you're crawling like an inchworm behind a guy who believes slow and steady for everyone wins the race.
   And we're all in it together. Rain and traffic and insanity get every single one of us. So you'd think we'd pull together - one for all and all for one - and try to make the best of a clearly bad situation.
   But there's where you'd be wrong. Out there, in the naked city (on the naked highway?), when the heavens have opened up, it's every man for himself. You have no friends, no allies, no family, it's you against everybody else.
   Kind of like at the buffet line in Vegas, come to think of it.