I don't usually watch sitcoms. I make an exception for The Big Bang Theory - because it's about my people - and I do watch Modern Family from time to time but only because Sophia Vergara is a luscious handful. But tonight I decided to watch some sitcoms that normally I avoid.
What a colossal crap sandwich.
Seriously, it's bad. Very bad. Alarmingly bad. Not funny in the least, which is the best you can say, and insulting to boot. I think it was Seinfeld that started the trend of not-funny sitcoms, which continued with Friends and all those related mind-numbingly dull and awful programs. But it's even worse now, if you can believe. A room full of monkeys could write better jokes and situations.
Or someone with a blog could do the same.
So here, with absolutely no forethought or editing, is a list of sitcom premises that would do better than everything on TV today. Or at the very least they couldn't be any worse.
A wacky short-order cook leads a double life as a cannibal chef in an underground forbidden-foods club.
A motley collection of ne'er do-well itinerant jugglers decides to leave showbiz and settle in a small town where juggling is illegal. When beanbags are outlawed, will only outlaws have beanbags?
A frazzled young weather girl tries to find love in the big city alongside her work friends, all of whom hate her guts and are secretly trying to murder her.
An agoraphobic man meets a woman under house arrest on video chat. They find love and romance through the internet, and never realize they're next door neighbors.
A Victorian-era genius inventor must deal with the chaos that ensues when his half-wit lummox of a brother moves in with his ill-mannered, dirty family, complete with adorable talking piglet. Will our hero ever perfect the steam-powered zoetrope?
See? Just off the top of my head and any of those would be better than 'How I Met Your Mother.'
And I swear to God, if I see any of these ideas become shows I will find you and I will cut you three ways: hard, deep, and repeatedly. Try me.
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