Everything's Better On A Stick

It's that State Fair time of year, and I'm like a giggly little schoolgirl. With a beard. I love - L O V E - midways, fairs, and carnivals of all sorts, and when you make it the biggest one in the entire state... well, you just can't go wrong. There's nothing at a State Fair that isn't the greatest thing ever, from the competitions for vegetables, preserves, livestock, dessert, cheese, beer and wine (really), to the aforementioned midways, to lovingly artery-clogging fried food.
   And then there's food on a stick.
   I'm from Texas, and we know how to put stuff on a stick and eat it. In San Antonio we have Fiesta where almost everything solid is available on a stick, but the best stick-eating to be had is a few months later at the Folklife Festival. My childhood and much of my adulthood was spent at these events and others like them, street parties with stick-food, so I know what I'm talking about here.
   There's something... I don't know... primeval about eating food from a stick. Like when I went camping as a Boy Scout and we proudly dispensed with all pretense of civilization, eating food from a stick brings you closer to your inner caveman, that guy who ate what he killed and charred it black over a lightning-spawned fire. It's man stuff, though I've seen plenty of women eating food from a stick too. Stick-food just pleases the palate more than non-stick food. I'll even go so far as to say there is no food that is not made better by eating it from a wooden stick. Corn on the cob? Check. Sausage? Check. Cheesecake? Check. Pizza? Check (I've seen it done). Meatballs? Check. Bacon? Double-check. I invite you to prove me wrong, but I bet you can't.
   The California State Fair is over, so I'm gonna have to go abroad to get my stick-eating on...