Another Career

I've been watching the History Channel a lot lately, I can't get enough of R. Lee Ermey blowing away watermelons (he was Gunny Hartman in 'Full Metal Jacket'), or the hefty proprietors in Pawn Stars, or nerds on TV in The Universe. But I really get into the Nostradamus/2012/Armageddon stuff, probably for the same reason I love circus sideshows and carnival midways, it's just too crazy to ignore. Watching the nearly-unhinged people who delve into medieval French and Mayan calendar stuff made me realize there's a career opportunity there.
   I'm going to become a Doomsday predictor.
   You know, one of those guys who gets on TV, wearing a turtleneck and a tweed jacket and looking all serious, proclaiming the end of the world is just around the corner. I don't want to be a crazy megachurch preacher - yet - I'm talking about the kind of guy who can get on a morning talk show and get people to buy into his ration of crap just by seeming to be sincere about it. I'll have a book to sell too, obviously. I'm thinking if I can get an appearance on Rachael Ray and The View, then Oprah can't be far behind. And everyone knows if you have the Oprah stamp of approval, you're golden.
   The only thing is, I may be late to the bandwagon on this one. 2012 is only three years away, and if the shows on the History Channel are any indication, the crazy-eyebrowed Nostradamus-and-Mayan doomsday guys may already have the market sewn up.
   But there's always room for one more loud, ill-informed pundit on TV, isn't there?