When Hef Is Gone

I don't want to alarm anyone, but at 83 years old and counting, Hugh Hefner is on the back side of his tenure here on Earth. He's going to be gone sooner rather than later, and when that happens, what's to become of the Playboy empire? The 'empire' is now pretty much reduced to the magazine - no more Playboy clubs - but that magazine is a cultural staple, everyone knows it and most people have leafed through its pages.
   I know that when I was younger I eagerly read all the interviews with Gore Vidal and Norman Mailer and absorbed all the advice on proper grooming and electronic equipment and the like. And the college football previews... I'm sorry... what's that? There may have been photographs of nude women in certain issues of Playboy? Really? Huh, how about that. I never noticed.
   I don't think anybody can underestimate the influence Playboy has exercised on American culture, coming as it did in the early 50's right after World War II and the Korean 'police action' ended. To say that the 60's as we know them would have been different without Playboy is an understatement, and the 70's was absolutely the Playboy decade, with its navel-gazing excesses and unrestrained permissiveness. Hugh Hefner and his magazine have, for better or worse, shaped the America we have today.
   But the question about what happens to Playboy without its founder remains. Since I am currently 'between assignments' I will volunteer, I will put myself in service to this country by taking the reins of the Playboy empire and running things as Hef does, three girlfriends at a time and all. That's right, I'm willing to make that sacrifice, I'm willing to put myself on the line for this country, to make it a better place by keeping the Playboy tradition alive.
   Time to get myself fitted for slippers and a smoking jacket, I'm ready to start work.