In Action

I've been thinking about the best way to go about becoming gainfully employed. Yup, it's time to start hitting it pretty hard, time to leave this life of leisure and get back on the job track. It's not that I want to, it's that I need to. But all of us currently 'between assignments' know that the entire recruiting process these days is designed so that you can't actually talk to a person, they don't want to be bothered. Kind of cowardly, if you ask me, and just about the worst way you could find someone to do a job, but that's the way it is. So I've been trying to think of ways to avoid the resume black hole and get myself noticed, and I finally got it.
   I need my own action figure.
   I grew up with the Mego superhero figures, I had Batman, Superman, and Aquaman (really), and, of course, the real GI Joe, the big one, not the horrible little one. I still have, somewhere, the first set of Star Wars action figures, all well-worn and thoroughly played with, as toys should be. And right now, atop my bookshelf, sit two modern action figures, The Dude and Walter. I know from action figures, is what I'm saying, and today the collector's action figure market is huge.
   I figure my action figure would be the size of the real GI Joe, a foot tall, and I'd have my own 'Living Room Playset,' complete with couch, big TV, and remote control. He could have something to paint on a beard - since I shave infrequently now - and you'd strip him down to his underwear to watch broadcast TV, since he canceled cable. He'd have a wide variety of work clothes gathering dust in his closet, and he'd try to eat healthy but fall off the wagon more times than not. It could be the first in a line of 'real world' action figures, designed to prepare little kids for the harsh realities of life.
   I think I'm on to something here...