Learning The Banjo

I've been trying to think of a new career direction, considering my almost complete lack of interest in working for another corporation. While I may have to take another office gig, I need to find a new passion. I was working on a few edits for one of my books today when it hit me: I need to learn how to play the banjo. And why would I need to have that skill? you might ask.
   I'm gonna start a jug band.
   Yup. Right here in SoCal. I'm gonna find me some barely-literate fellows, guys who have trouble reading street signs but who have innate rhythm and know the words to hymns by heart. We'll have a big fat guy - no, not me - and a thin, weaselly guy, and one with a wild mountain-man beard. And then me. None of us will wear shirts unless it's cold outside or we're playing a wedding or something. No shoes either, 'cause I want to keep it real. The big fat guy will play the washboard, the weaselly guy will play the one-string washtub bass, the mountain man will play the moonshine jug with 'xxx' on it, and I'll play the banjo. As the only one of our quartet with his own teeth, I'll also be the lead singer and de facto chick magnet.
   Now that iTunes has provided a platform for emerging artists I know we'll break big, if for no other reason than to provide an alternative to Lady Gaga. Although I wouldn't put it past her to steal our shtick and start her own jug band... I should nip that competition in the bud and record a duet with her right away. And I gotta start growing my mullet out right now.

Yeah... this is really looking up. I can't see the flaw in this plan at all.