Tales From My Past - Hulk Smash

Back in the heady days of 2007, when the nation was just beginning to understand that the prosperity of the previous five years was a lie based on a false assumption driven by misguided optimism, at Countrywide the people in charge realized there was no hiding how bad the situation was from the rank and file.
   So, like any corporation trying to seem like it was doing something, we had a meeting.
   It was an all-hands HR meeting, and I got there late. The room had filled up from the back, and the only seat left - literally - was up front right next to our Chief Leadership Officer. The guy was a tool, a complete jackass from the word go, and I had to take the bullet nobody else would. I said 'hi' as I sat down, though of course he didn't respond. I don't want to put down the dipshit's real name, but it sounded like Bichael Binston.
   The meeting started and it was the head of HR demonstrating her lack of compassion at the same time she was betraying her ignorance of finance and the mortgage business the company was founded on. A whole lot of nothing. She asked if there were any questions and Mr. Winston - oh, sorry, Binston - actually raised his hand even though he and the head of HR were practically touching knees.
   "What does the next fiscal quarter portend?"
   Say what? Did he actually use the word 'portend' in a sentence? I wasn't certain I had heard properly, but my natural hatred for this poser kicked in right then. I felt my hand clenching into a fist.
   The head of HR gave her non-answer, and then Michael - sorry, Bichael - nodded sagely, as if he understood the nonsense she was spewing.
   "That augurs well."
   Ooooooh... I actually felt my blood boil. Augur and portend? Within a minute of each other? And sitting right next to me? You have got to be out of your mind...
   I had to stop myself from hitting him. It was one of those moments where someone you hate just pushes your buttons so thoroughly that there's no other response but the physical. I had to sit on my hands.
   Later, when the monkey-spank was well and done, some of my colleagues asked me how I managed to sit next to that walking turd without hulking out. I almost didn't.

COMMUTE - there - 75 minutes - seriously, it was insane today      back - 55 minutes, like I said, insane in the membrane
CONTRACT COUNTDOWN: 53 days