Truly Uncivilized

They don't have breakfast tacos here in SoCal.
   In a place as cosmopolitan as Los Angeles, or as suburban as Orange County, you'd think you could find a decent flour tortilla and a scrambled egg to fill it. But you'd be wrong. They use mostly corn tortillas, and what flour tortillas that do exist are travesties that would get the sellers run out of South Texas on a rail. Possibly tarred and feathered too.
   The lack of flour tortillas is a direct cause of the lack of breakfast tacos, and it's kind of pissing me off. See, in Texas the breakfast taco is a thing of beauty, a small, 6-inch flour tortilla, packed with a combination of scrambled egg and something else. Potatoes, bacon, cheese, maybe all three, maybe barbacoa or carne guisada. Or my personal favorite, eggs and chorizo, which is a Mexican sausage. If you're wondering what goes into chorizo just stop right there; you're better off just enjoying it and not asking too many questions.
   The best breakfast ever invented in the history of mankind is one chorizo and egg taco, one potato, bacon, and egg taco, both with a bit of homemade salsa, a dash of salt and pepper, and a small Fanta Red to wash it all down. It'll start your day off right. And, damn it all to Hell and back, I can't even come close to that here.
   They have breakfast burritos in SoCal, but if I wanted a three-egg omelet wrapped in an edible baby blanket I'd make my own. You'd think that in a place like LA, where you can find - literally - almost anything available anywhere else in the world I'd be able to get that little slice of South Texas heaven that is the breakfast taco. But the blind idiot gods presiding over this cultural wasteland have dictated that I will not find that satisfaction.
   Maybe I should buy a taco truck and start making my own. Bring a little culture to this neglected backwater of a town.


COMMUTE - there - 30 minutes, very light pre-holiday traffic      back - 30 minutes, I left early
CONTRACT COUNTDOWN: 45 days - halfway there!!