Hot...

You ever see that Twilight Zone episode where the Earth was moving closer to the Sun?
   Yeah, that's LA today.
   Even better, the air conditioning in my apartment doesn't work. Not just my place, the entire building. It's the elevator all over again. My desk is hot. My desk chair is hot. My walls are hot. My carpet is hot. The toilet seat is hot, for God's sake.
   I'm from Texas, and I know hot. I used to make a living doing manual labor, and I was a lifeguard. I've been outside in the worst of a Texas summer and I'm alive today to talk about it. I know how to sweat, is what I'm saying. But I've lived here for eight years and I've grown acclimated. 99 degrees F is hot anywhere, but in LA it seems hotter. Probably all the concrete. And all the sweaty people.
   I was going to try to think of a way to make money off this, but I just don't have the energy. Thunderstorms are brewing out in the IE and the natives are getting restless. Angelenos freak at just the mention of rain, let alone at actual drops. A thunderstorm is enough to spawn heart attacks.
   I have an oven thermometer I use to get an accurate air temperature reading. I haven't had the courage to use it. Right now, at my desk, it's 88 degrees.
   Hot...