I'm Sorry, Girls

I returned to Pasadena today after spending four days in Texas. Before I got on the plane I had one last lunch with my mother, my sister, and my two nieces. They both have summer jobs and as they were saying good-bye, one last raspberry on the cheek before I wouldn't see them for another few months, they asked when they would see me again. And then both of them reminded me of what I'd told them years ago when I moved out to Pasadena.
   Evidently I told my older niece that I would be back before she graduated high school. She's now going to be a sophomore in college. And my younger niece remembers me telling her I would be away for five years. It's been eight.
   What a punch to the gut.
   I don't doubt them for a minute, especially since they both remember me saying the same thing. I made promises to two little girls who are now young women, promises I don't even remember making. I broke those promises and that breaks my heart.
   I'm sorry, girls. Truly sorry, more than I can put into words. I don't know how I'm going to make up for eight years of absence, but I'm going to try.