Who's Got The Hairpiece?

I saw a guy today with the worst toupee ever. And I mean worst, hands-down, he wins the prize, nobody else need apply. It was obviously one he bought twenty years ago, he'd gone gray since he bought it and the top of his head was still chestnut brown while the sides were gray as a mule. Kind of like Mr. Tudball from the Carol Burnett show. Poor guy, still attached to his old perception of himself. Say what you will, though, it was a distinctive look.
   Which got me to thinking, especially since I have issues with getting a good haircut. Maybe I need a toupee. I'm not going bald, not as far as I can tell anyway, but a toupee or two or three or ten would let me change my look from time to time as my whims lead me. I could have wavy Tom Selleck-as-Magnum hair (with a matching mustache), I could have Jim Morrison hair, Poison circa 1987 hair, Larry King hair, Andy Rooney hair, maybe Bob Marley hair for when I'm feelin' irie.
   Why not? Women change hair color all the time, why can't I change my own hair? I'd be like Roger from American Dad, a new disguise for every day of the week.
   Sure would make it hard to get past the TSA, though. Let me think this through some more.