Pinstripes

I saw a group of guys in suits today - what is the collective noun for a bunch of guys in suits? a pretense? a pinstripe? a double-breast? I don't know. There were five or six of them, I couldn't get an exact count because they all looked the same.
   I heard a bit of their conversation, which I couldn't make heads or tails of because none of them were finishing sentences and they were all using nonsense corporate-speak works like 'paradigm' and 'monetize.' I'm sure they're all nice guys and I'm sure their families love them. But as I watched them do their thing, I had only one thought:
   If I ever turn into that just put a pistol to my head, pull the trigger and put me out of my misery.
   Seriously. I don't know what business they were in but that doesn't matter in the least. They were tools, knobs, corporate weasels, I'm sure you have your own term for this kind anonymously bland, identical sort of douchebag. I wonder what they think when they look in the mirror at night. Did they think they were fighting the good fight, doing a good job, making a difference? Or did they see what I saw, a grasping climber hanging out with people who look and sound exactly like him?
   Maybe I'm being too hard on them. Maybe they have to dress like they're training to be bouncers at a strip club (or at least what I hear bouncers at a strip club dress like). Maybe they have to talk like people who don't understand the words that are coming out of their mouths. Maybe they actually like the people they're turning into...
   Nah.