Monster Suits With Zippers

As I may have mentioned before, I'm descending - prematurely, I contend - into 'cranky old man' status. I attend my local city district meetings, I fondly remember the good old days, and if I had a lawn I'd yell at kids to keep off it. I know what this country needs to get straightened out, and I'm not shy about letting people know it. And to that point, I've come up with another solution for the ills of society.
   We need more movies with giant monsters tearing up Tokyo.
   Or at least show the ones we have a lot more often. Used to be every Saturday morning I could find a good monster movie on TV. Godzilla was out ripping it up, or Mothra, maybe Rodan or Ghidora, or Monster Zero. Sometimes they were good guys, sometimes they were bad guys, but they always knocked a few buildings down, stomped on a few fleeing Japanese.
   Go find a little kid and ask them who Godzilla is. If they know ask about Gamera, or Infra Man, or - God help us all - Godzukey. Bet you they have no idea.
   How do kids these days function without knowing about Japanese monster movies? I used to spend hours at the beach building my own little sand castle Tokyo just so I could stomp through it. My friends and I used to set up our plastic green Army men in neat rows and them mow them down with our atomic breath. Which was green Hi-C, but you get the idea.
   I think I'm going to write my congressman - because that's what cranky old men do - and demand legislation to put more Japanese monster movies on TV. That'll fix these kids up...