Junk Mail Diet

As you may remember, a while back I confessed my fondness for all things Billy Mays. As a matter of fact, I kind of like most infomercials, because they're so earnest and seemingly-forthright about selling you crap you absolutely don't need.
   As I continue to be 'between assignments,' however, I'm starting to take e-mail spam more seriously. I have always casually scanned the 'Junk Mail' box on my mail program, mostly to make sure the filters haven't accidentally landed one of my friends in that Purgatory, but when I do that I'm forced to read the subject lines. Which are increasingly intriguing the longer I'm not in an office every day.
   Would I like a career in Health Care? I just might. Would I like to learn more about the acai berry? Absolutely. Free credit report? You know it. How about a coupon for Olive Garden, KFC, Pepsi, Burger King, Velveeta, or Wal-Mart? I'd be stupid not to. Need a colon cleanse? I don't know, do I look like... well, maybe... what the hell, cleanse away!
   It's like driving past a train wreck, I don't want to watch but I cannot turn away. I do want a Rolex for $50, I really do. I need to help out that Nigerian prince who just wants his family fortune back. I want to learn how to make a six-figure income stuffing envelopes from home.
   I'm not sure this is healthy. I think it turns my attention from nobler things like... I don't know, doing the dishes or something.