Making It Easy With Archetypes

I'm getting lazy. Or lazier, I suppose, and I really don't feel much like doing a lot of work figuring people out. Dogs and cats let you know how they're feeling, if a dog doesn't like you it growls, if a cat likes you it rubs all over your ankles. Bared teeth mean the same for both species. I think as human beings we need to do the same kind of thing. We have language though, so having someone just come out and say what they're thinking isn't the best course of action, they could be lying, or sarcastic, or they could speak some mumbo-jumbo language I don't understand. Like French. No, if we want people to be clear, we need archetypes.
   I'm not talking stereotypes, I'm talking archetypes like they have in melodrama or in Roman comedy. If someone is a wise old man, they should have a long white beard, if they're a villain they should have a twisty mustache, if they're sneaky they should always look from side to side out of the corners of their eyes.
   See, if people would just act like their archetypes it would save everyone a lot of time. Don't know if you should get that interest-only adjustable rate mortgage on the property you clearly can't afford anyway? Check out the broker, is he wearing a battered stovepipe hat, flourishing a cape and cackling evilly? Then don't get a loan with him.
   Not sure if your Congressman is taking bribes? Go to Washington and visit his office. Does he have sacks of money with big dollar signs on them strewn around his office? Does he look like a pig wearing robber-baron clothes? Then he's probably on the take.
   Wondering what your girlfriend is going to become once you marry her? Go visit her mother. Is she wearing curlers with a kerchief wrapped around her head? Is she wearing a housecoat and fuzzy slippers in the middle of a weekday? Does she threaten you with a rolling pin? Then she's a battle axe and her daughter's going to be just the same.
   See? It would work out great, and keep me from thinking too much.