Socrates Walks Into A Bar...

Hey, buddy, what can I get you?
   Ah, that is the question, is it not?
Uh... right. Beer?
   Is this beer refreshing?
Yes.
   Is this beer delicious?
Uh-huh.
   Is it your opinion, then, that I would find this beer thirst-quenching?
Well... sure. Look, pal, I don't got all day.
   And how do you know that I, in particular, enjoy beer?
You just look like a beer kind of fellow.
   Yet I look like no other person in here, and I see many of them drinking beer.
Maybe you're right, how about a tequila sunrise?
   Is this tequila sunrise refreshing?
All right, that's it. When you want to stop being a wise ass, let me know.
   No wait, don't go. I'm sorry, it's just... I use questions with my students, and it's hard for me to turn off at the end of the day.
No harm done, pal.
   Socrates.
Harvey.
   You're a virtuous man, Harvey.
People have called me worse. So you're a teacher?
   Do I look like a teacher?
Jeez, you just said...
   Sorry! Sorry! Okay, I'm turning it off. Seriously. This time for real.
All right. What'll it be?
   That's a tough one. You know what I'd really like?
The only thing I know is that I don't know.
   Ah... you got me there.
People think that because I'm a bartender I don't read.
   Man, I'm parched.
There is no one thirstier than you.
   Another good one.
I got a lot of time during the day.
   I'll take that beer. You got any pistachios back there?