Things That Worry Me Which Probably Shouldn't

Sometimes I worry about getting tattooed in my sleep.
   I'm not talking about in my own home in my own bed. I'm concerned that if I fall asleep somewhere public yet secluded that rogue tattoo artists will chloroform me and then ink me up. You know, like if I fall asleep in the back row of a movie theater, or maybe on the LA Metro late at night. I'm sure there are itinerant tattoo guys just waiting for their chance.
   The best I could hope for is some kind of tramp stamp. Which would be kind of lost on me because I rarely bare my midriff, a fact for which many people are thankful. The worst would be some kind of Yakuza full-body tattoo. Which would take quite a bit of time, since I'm bigger than your average Japanese mobster. At least that's what people tell me.