Seven Steps to World Domination

While I have the opportunity for self-examination I've been thinking of new and different careers. I've been applying for jobs, but that's kind of the problem, they're just jobs, something to make rent and keep me off the street during working hours. But I didn't really have an answer to the question 'what is my passion?' After some consideration, and long, embarrassing conversations with myself, I realized that my passion had been staring me in the face, I just refused to acknowledge it.
   I took one of those career tests and the answer came up 'evil genius.' That's right, I'm suited for a life pursuing world domination, a la Lex Luthor or Auric Goldfinger.

So just what does it take to be an evil genuis? I thought it over and came up with a seven-item checklist:
   1. Not just smart, but scary smart. They know all the capitals of all the states, and they can recite them backwards in reverse alphabetical order.
   2. Hired goons. An evil genius never soils his hands when there are people who do that for a living. Besides, stupid hired goons make a smart man seem even smarter by comparison.
   3. Unlimited funds. You never see an evil genius counting pennies or searching pay phones for change. When you need a weather control module or a tachyon converter, you can't go budget.
   4. A scarred past. Evil geniuses did not grow up with loving parents and cuddly pets. They were beaten by their carny father and sold to Gypsies by their mother.
   5. A physical oddity. Nothing like a hunchback or no legs, that would make them more tragic than evil. Baldness seems like a common evil genius trait, and a scar of some sort, or maybe a cybernetic part, like a hand or an eye or something.
   6. Cheating death. Any evil genius worth his salt has seemingly fallen to his death, been exploded in the secret base, or been devoured by his own tank of starving piranhas time after time after time. If there's no inescapable death to escape from, how smart an evil genius are you?
   7. A pure and noble enemy. An evil genius is only as evil as his enemy is good. If there's no one to contend against, what's the point of being an evil genius?

Thus far I'm 0 for 7. I have some work to do.