No More Roller Coasters

In honor of Earth Day yesterday I went to Magic Mountain. It was my way of... I helped the planet by... uh... I went with my ex-boss because his family has season passes. And the Earth has seasons, so, yeah, that's how it ties into Earth Day.
   A few years back some friends and I went to AstroWorld (now closed) to get back in touch with the fourteen-year-old inside us. I went on every ride I could, except the very last roller coaster, because by the end of the day I felt like I had been beaten with broom handles. My head ached, my ribs hurt, my arms were sore, all from being banged around on those rides. I realized then that I was too big for that kind of stuff any more. I didn't fit on those rides.
   Fast forward a few years, to yesterday. Guess what? I'm still too big. We went on four coasters, X2, Colossus, Goliath, and Scream. By the time I got off Scream I was dizzy, my ribs hurt, and I was sweating like a hooker in church. Too much.
   One more coaster and I probably would have set my breakfast free to roam the land. Which is a kind of recycling, so, see? it all ties together.