Anthropologists say that the thing that really separates humans from chimps and gorillas is culture. Humans transmit culture down from generation to generation, and the great apes do not. No ape stories, no ape religion, no ape philosophy. Just eating, screwing, and flinging feces, all of which are fun enough, admittedly.
But I got to thinking. What if the great apes have culture, but it's just not very refined?
What if, eons ago, the chimps and gorillas had a thriving culture, like Gorilla City or something, where they wrote poetry, created laws, and had universal health coverage. Then - they invented the ape version of TV. Everything went well for a few decades, then they invented ape reality TV. Instead of creating more art, music, and sculpture, they just sat around and watched ape celebrities dancing, overweight apes trying to slim down, and semi-talented ape singers trying to get their big break. What if, after all their great ape effort to built a culture and civilization, it was all brought crashing down when the apes decided to sit home in their undershirts and watch ape reality TV?
Wouldn't that explain why most apes seem to behave like that neighbor who goes through a case of Schafer Light every Saturday night, right before he starts shooting out street lights so 'the gummint' can't get him.
What if the great apes are just the white trash of the primate world?
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