Why I Don't Recycle

Now before you get all 'save the planet' on me, let me explain. When I say I don't recycle, I mean I don't take my cans and bottles down to Ralph's and put them through the machine so I can get my $5 to go buy apples. I do collect my cans and bottles as if I were going to take them down to Ralph's, but every month or so - on trash day - I put them in a big garbage bag and place them on top of the dumpster once it's outside. As I mentioned in a prior post, there are people who pick through the dumpsters, and I know one of them is getting my gift bag because I've checked. I figure they need the $5 more than I do. So I combine recycling with charity, which actually makes me better than you, so there.
   I USED to go to Ralph's and run my cans and bottles through the machine, but I haven't in a long time, and here's why: one time, when I was making my monthly or bi-monthly visit to the machine, I noticed two homeless guys - also waiting for the machine - arguing. Evidently one had trespassed on the other's turf, picking out of a dumpster that wasn't his. The other guy didn't deny it, he just objected to the idea that anyone could 'own' a dumpster; it was first come, first served. The argument escalated until the two homeless guys started fighting. And I don't mean a sissy-boy slap fight, I mean they were punching each other in the face, drawing blood, the whole UFC experience.
    I left my bag of recylables where it was and drove home. I didn't need to clean up after myself so bad that I needed to become witness to felonious assault. That's also when I figured that if someone were going through the trash anyway, I might as well leave them a gift.
   Sometimes I wonder if any of them fight over the bags I leave in the dumpsters.